Keeping in line with yesterday’s thoughts on Boost Your Positive Thinking, I wanted to continue since I had a couple of phone calls today with people that are just down and out with the state of affairs in the world today. I always enjoy a GOOD conversation, one that makes me think as opposed to the negative nay-saying, “I’m right, and you are wrong” types of arguments. Sigh…
It is said that you are the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time. That can be disconcerting when your boss is an idiot and your co-worker a backstabber.
You Are the Company You Keep
The people in your life have a tremendous impact on you. While you probably can’t do anything about the boss or co-worker (although consider getting another job), you should give a great deal of thought to the people with whom you associate. Yes, this includes family. Family members can frequently keep you down.
There are people who seem to naturally drain you of energy with their negativity. They can suck you dry with their neediness, anger, and chronic complaints and pump you up with their negative thinking. These people should definitely be avoided as much as possible. They add nothing to your life while taking so much.
The good news is that you do get to choose whom you hang out with. Consciously seek out people who have a positive approach to life. They don’t have to be perfect, but they should be open to life’s possibilities. Ideally, they should be where you want to go.
One of the worst mistakes you can make is to avoid people you may consider “better” than you because you feel intimated. That can be people who are more productive at the office than you, people who stick to an exercise schedule, and people who watch their diet. These people can really make you feel inadequate.
They are also the exact people who can motivate you to work harder and live better to reach your goals. These are the very people you want to spend time with. They are the best type of teachers because they inspire. The lazy couch potatoes will do nothing to help you make positive changes. Do you really want them in your life?
It could be helpful to create a list of the people in your life. Do they add to or subtract from your existence? Consider that your party-loving pal from college may be fun and can create a good time, but is he or she adding anything to your life besides hangovers?
Notice how certain people make you feel. They may act nice, but you invariably feel down in their company. Such people may be putting you down with backhanded compliments or more directly. Perhaps it’s the romantic partner who never comments on how attractive you are or how well you are able to prepare a meal, thereby always leaving you worried and trying harder to please. If someone doesn’t boost you up, do you need them?
Find people from whom you can learn, who make you feel good about yourself, and who encourage you to be the best you can be. One of the surest way of finding people who will enhance your life is to be your most authentic self. Perhaps you’re in a group of people who like sports, certain types or music, etc., and you pretend to like the same things in order to remain friends. It’s a far better idea to find out what you genuinely like and pursue your real interests.
Facing Rejection Positively
No one likes to be rejected, but it happens to all of us. It would be a boring existence if we got handed everything we want. Rejection is rarely a problem; how we handle it can be. Someone once was overheard saying, “I don’t care if I’m right or wrong, I just want to win the argument.” Imagine never learning or growing, because that is the fate of the person quoted. Treat rejection like failure, a wake-up call to action.
Very few rejections are life-changing. They are annoying, at most. If we let rejection overwhelm us, we are unable to move forward. And usually, there is something better ahead. Did your dream job fall through? Understand that there will always be a better job out there. Even during bad economic times, you only need one job. Did your crush give you the cold shoulder? Hard as it is to believe, there are people out there that will prove more perfect for you – if you keep looking. Keep rejection in its proper perspective.
Usually, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. After getting rejected for a job, a woman learned that the reason for the rejection was that the hiring person considered her and her experience as a potential threat. View rejection for what it really is: someone else’s problem. Don’t make it yours.
If rejection happens too frequently in your life, use it as an opportunity to reflect. What kind of impression do I make? How do people see me? What areas could use improvement? This is not accepting rejection; it is taking a good, honest look at the situation and taking responsibility for was happens in your life. Perhaps you’ve been pursuing the brawny men at the gym when the nerdy writer is far more your style. This is a part of finding people that are best for you as mentioned previously.
Meditation and Positive Thinking
We know that a positive attitude can help you attract life’s abundance. Meditation is an extremely effective way to explore your inner thoughts and rid yourself of unwanted negativity. It has been used for thousands of years. A mental switch happens because meditation puts you in control of your thoughts and allows you to see your inner self more clearly.
Sometimes we don’t quite understand the negativity inside of us. There can be many reasons. If you were told while growing up that you would never amount to anything, negative thoughts aren’t too surprising. Sadly, they may feel natural. Therapy can provide clarity in certain cases, but even therapists are recommending meditation more and more as a way to alleviate stress and increase positivity. When our brain is a jumble of negativity, meditation can calm the storm.
There are a number of meditation techniques:
Mantra Meditation: This type of meditation is based on the repetition of a sound or word to help you focus. You can also repeat a pertinent phrase, such as “I am calm.” By focusing on the sound, word, or phrase, you are quieting other, unwanted thoughts. This allows for positivity to enter your mind.
Mindfulness Meditation: Mindful meditation heightens awareness. By sitting in a comfortable place and concentrating only on your breathing, it let’s you focus on the present. Irrelevant thoughts are pushed into the background. This quiets the mind and allows positivity to replace negativity.
Quieting the mind doesn’t always come naturally, so it may take time to feel its effects. But it’s worth the effort, as the benefits of meditation are reduced stress and a more positive outlook on life. A good meditation session should last between twenty to thirty minutes but start slowly and work your way up.
Wear comfortable clothes while meditating and make sure you will not be disturbed during your time. Inhale and exhale deeply. Don’t worry if your mind wanders. Simply return your focus to your breathing. Counting while you breathe can be especially helpful, as in … inhale … one … exhale … inhale … two … exhale.
Simple things that you can do now. As you go about your day. As you write your own blog posts. As you spend time….
Enjoy the Journey.